In an attempt to throw off rumor sites, Steve Jobs gave most of Apple's engineers a bucket of wooden blocks to play with. While some of them have built rather impressive geometric shapes, others have built elaborate castles and towers. These designs will soon flood the rumor sites while the real engineers are busy designing the next generation of computing devices, codenamed VANISH.

The core of the set of VANISH technologies is an advanced refractive polymer that bends light completely around itself, rendering it and everything inside completely invisible. An anonymous source close to the VANISH project whispered "Translucent plastics were just the first step in producing a computer that doesn't clash with Steve's, um, I mean the customer's furniture." Thanks to the revolutionary new case design, it won't matter what shape the computer is. "It could be shaped like a hand giving you the finger and nobody would ever know," explained our extremely reliable unknown source.

Included with the initial testing versions of VANISH computers will be a specially modified laser rangefinder. Since light striking the computer is bent around it, the rangefinder would give a much greater distance than would be expected if nothing were there. The detection system requires the user to point the rangefinder at a wall and scan across the room, alerting the user when an abnormally high distance is measured.

While the current detector is a handheld device, a headmounted version is planned. The goal will be to tie the detector in to a head mounted display that will mark the location of the computer, making it visible only to someone wearing the device. The big push for a headmounted device came after Steve Jobs took a recent tour of the VANISH development facility and tripped over a VANISH case that an engineer had thoughtlessly placed on the floor. Jobs is reported to have said "What the F***! Who put this piece of S*** here? You're fired!" before storming off with tears in his eyes.

Official Apple sources have denied any knowledge of the VANISH project. "That's completely absurd," an Apple spokesman responded. "You're getting sleepy, very sleepy. You'll forget everything you heard about VANISH. If you ever feel compelled to speak about VANISH, you will be paralyzed by fear of legal action." At the end of the interview, our reporter stumbled away in a semiconscious state, unable to remember where he parked his car.

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