Aftermath of Riley Hall renovations

by Mathew M. Lug - Newspeak Staff

Much has changed in Riley Hall over the summer, mostly for the better. New carpets, furniture, and windows, a new paint job inside, no more annoying ivy-like grapevines that make it impossible for you to close your windows all the way when it's freezing out and the wind is howling and you would sell your soul for a heater that would actually work when you want it to, but no, they only turn on full blast when its 100 degrees inside (Celsius or Fahrenheit, take your pick), and you just want to scream! Some things ended up worse though, like the shrinking hallways which make you feel so confined while walking out toward the next day of your tortured existence, and also make hall sports a little bit more difficult. I don't really mind that so much though. I miss the urinal. It served as more than just a vessel for bodily wastes; it had more of a purpose than to keep overflowing and stinking up the bathroom all the time. It was an important part of a society, a society of diverse people from all over the country, who all had one thing in common - being stuck at WPI for seven weeks at a time, maybe longer. In this fast-paced world, the urinal allowed us (at least the males among us) to get on with our lives after only a brief stop that didn't involve any little doors getting in our way. It was a place where we could relax and read the page of Newspeak that was posted on the wall (those of you who were on Riley 3rd last year know what I'm talking about). It brought us all down to a common level. No matter where you came from, or how much money your parents made during the last fiscal year, or even if you knew what a fiscal year was, you still used the same urinal if you were male and didn't go somewhere else instead. It was a symbol for everything that made us human, and everything that allowed us to be who we are. The urinal will be missed. After all that urinal stood for, one has to wonder what role that handicapped shower will play in our future society. We can only imagine the possibilities...

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